Low Tides

Low Tides is a bi-annual joke book by artists Simon Buckley and Scott Rogers. I had three texts – Problem #1, Problem #2 and Problem #3 – included in the first issue. 

Problem #1

A man is trying to measure the front elevation of a shop. He extends the tape measure vertically, up to the bottom ledge of the first-floor window. It flops backwards, bending itself to the ground. He reels the measure in, then extends it up again. It bends back down. Repeat.

Next stop: Falling Lane, says the electronic display, as the bus moves forward. The man disappears from view: now forever trying to measure the height of his shop.

Problem #2

A hole in my tights is constricting my big toe. I can’t claim it’s painful, but it’s more than uncomfortable. It’s irritating enough to make me angry, but even though I’m getting angrier and have just snapped at my husband, I don’t take my shoe off and do something about the hole.

Problem #3

Preparing the equipment for the experiment takes all day. After 7.5 hours she has set everything up and is ready to extract the thing that interests her boss, to provide him with the data he wants.

But something is wrong and she can’t understand what it is. The only way to find out is to start again.

Her colleagues in the lab are all concerned about getting the data that their bosses want, so don’t have time to help her work out what is wrong with her experiment. They would have to watch her setting up for 7.5 hours to spot what it is that might be wrong.